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Maybe They’re Just Not That Into You

8 February 2010 Written by: Orietta Ramirez One Comment
Maybe They’re Just Not That Into You

You did your research and got that interview. You executed your IPOP (see my IPOP article for details) and notes (your outfit was coordinated, your hair, perfect), and your A-game was on (confident). Then, nothing…uh oh.

You go over what you said, what you could have said. Was it the suit? Should you have printed out two resumes instead of one? You call your friends, talk to your family and suddenly it dawns on you “they’re just not that into you” …. But, I thought I was the exception, not the rule!?

We all have been through those nerve-wracking interviews. Your mind racing to come up with witty yet intelligent responses. Those moments when you are asking yourself “what is it they want to hear?” You start to hit that panic button. Their attention starts to wane. You walk out wanting to believe, well maybe they will call. Who are you kidding?

Then you have that awesome interview where you and the interviewer seem to be in harmony. You both laugh when you make a witty remark. Both shake your heads in unison when you identify an issue and how you were able to resolve and accomplish the goal you were going for. You could see it in the hiring manager’s eyes, they “get you”! It’s kismet. You leave with the belief that you will be hearing back from them. You are already imagining what suit you will wear for the next meeting. Then, cricket, cricket …. Nothing!?

Sitting by the phone, constantly checking your voice, text and email messages. Every time the phone rings, you heart stops and you hear yourself saying, please please let it be them. Like the dating scenario, you wonder, would it be too forward to make that follow up call? Not at all, it is a competitive market, you want to stand out. Nothing wrong with sending a thank you email, letting them know how much you enjoyed the meeting and how excited you are about the prospect. However, like the dating scenario, it is futile to keep calling or sending more than two emails if you are not getting a response. In either scenario, if you do not hear back within a reasonable time, it is safe to say they are not going to call. You are completely within your right to say, “next”! You can be sure that they have.

Third scenario – you have been sending out all those resumes, doing some follow up calls and finally you get a call. Probably based on someone’s recommendation (blind date), or a colleague who heard about the opening (friend of a friend), a recruiter who thinks you might be a fit (matchmaker), or that posting you applied for as a safety fallback (yes, that dating service).

In order of preferences, this option is a distant last. You cannot pass up on this possibility, nor should you. Your heart is not into it, and you are trying to convince yourself (and you will have to convince them), that this is for you. Read, am I settling or open to the possibility? Has it ever happened that the one you did not think was a match turns out to be better than you expected? Well, so much for first initial impressions!

A job-related observation, particularly in today’s market, and contrary to our parents’ generation – starting at a company and not leaving until you received that gold watch, no longer applies. Prospective employers no longer frown upon the fact that you have held no less than three jobs in the last ten years. Career coaches advise their protégés upon landing the job, to, at the very least, be thinking about the next one. I do not entirely agree, as it parallels dating someone really nice but always scoping for the “next perfect one”. Settling is not an option but caveat – be careful what you wish for.

I say, love what you do, and you will never work a day! That is the icing on the cake. Any role that comes from that amazing job is the cherry on top. It is like falling for someone who sees who you are, appreciates what you bring to the relationship and values the fact that together you can achieve much. Similar to that long lasting, fulfilling relationship, job searching requires patience, the right chemistry, and investing some hard work. As a result, they will call, knock on your day and let you know that you are their exception!

Orietta is a Career Jockey frequent contributor.  The majority of her articles appear in our Currently Lookin’ column.  You can learn all about her or contact her directly via her Linkedin profile at http://www.linkedin.com/in/oriettaramirez.

Orietta Ramirez is a native New Yorker, born in Brooklyn, raised in The Bronx, and presently calls home in Dutchess County, New York. Pedagogically, her claim to fame, as she puts it, is that she shares Cardinal Spellman H.S. as her alma mater with the distinguished Associate Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Fordham University with Vince Lombardi and Steve Bellán, first Latin American to play Major League Baseball, and with Geraldo Rivera, another Brooklyn Law School alum. A first generation Chilean-American, she is a dynamic bilingual lawyer, employee relations advocate and project manager, with experience in human capital administration, audit and risk management. While leveraging her legal and compliance background as an HR partner, she incorporates her expertise on projects and in business relationships with a focus on diversity and inclusion as well as talent management. She is an avid reader and includes salsa dancing among her extracurricular activities, and is always open to all that is intriguing and challenging, which offers new opportunities for thought.

You can learn so much about this author by clicking here.

One Comment »

  • uberVU - social comments said:

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    This post was mentioned on Twitter by OriettaERamirez: RT @CareerJockey Just Maybe, They’re Just Not That Into You | CareerJockey http://bit.ly/d5xzyv

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